So I was sitting with a group of ladies in my mother's generation the other day and they were all cooing and ohhing and ahhhing about the baby. And they started to share their worries about their babies. They all had the same kind of worries about their baby's physical health. They worried about germs and diseases and physical abnormalities and brain damage. I was kind of amazed because I have almost no worries about that. I know that my baby is perfectly healthy and a few germs here and there will strengthen her immune system.
Well I was feeling pretty good about myself for being so level-headed about it when Emery started crying because she was hungry. I suddenly remembered that I didn't bring the nipple shield with me and she can't latch on without it. I tried to get her to latch on and it only made her more and more angry. So I strapped her in the car and we raced home as she screamed bloody murder in the back seat. All the while I was freaking out! What if I emotionally scar my baby by not feeding her? I want her to learn to trust me... I want her to know that she will always be cared for. My mom was telling me that it won't hurt her to cry a little but I was a total basket case. I KNOW she needs to know that the world isn't perfect and she won't always get what she wants when she wants it... but does she have to learn that lesson when she's only 3 weeks old? I don't think so. She was already unsettled from the plane ride the day before and she is already having problems breastfeeding and what if this one incident causes even more problems etc etc...
Then it suddenly hit me... my generation of mothers doesn't worry so much about their baby's physical health. We worry about our baby's emotional health... and we can be equally irrational about it. I just need to calm down, love my baby the best way I know how, and trust that her emotional health will follow.
But it's hard... I worry that I'll make some kind of fundamental mistake and my 35 year-old daughter will blame me for her disasterous life because of some huge mistake I made when she was a month old.
So, as my mother would say... "Get a grip Lindsey!"
2 comments:
I bet you will NEVER forget that shield again! She is probably just fine and she won't resent you for anything, because she WON'T remember. That is what I tell myself when I can't meet Kaydence's needs right when she wants them! Keep up the good work mom =D
I'm totally with you. I used to worry like crazy with Solomon that every little thing was going to scar him for life... that he would resent me and be in therapy as a 20 year old. I still freak out a little now, but it's not as severe. =) You have wisdom, Lindsey. I love to see the wisdom in you as you mother Emery.
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