Thursday, February 26, 2009

Valentines pictures

Ok here are some REALLY overdue pictures from Valentines Day. A special shout-out to Sarah who lent me her maternity dress that allowed me to feel glamorous for the first time in months. Thanks!
Yikes these pictures make me feel fat! After this baby is born we're going to have to take some mommy-baby walks to thin out that round face...
So here's at the restaurant...

And here's at the Performing Arts Center (which is spectacular by the way! We were sitting up in the nosebleed section so we had a lovely view of the architecture of the ceiling... lol!) 
And this last one is for Katie... as we both have the same picture in front of the same ice sculpture. :) We took this one the day after Valentines day when we went into St. Joe for the ice festival. 



The here and now

I have always been a "present-tense" kinda girl. In fact, when I was in elementary school I would frequently finish assignments and stuff them in my desk forgotten for months without turning them in just because the only moment I cared about was NOW! Fortunately for my academic career I learned how to overcome that particular problem... 
But now I find myself really living in the future. My brain and my body and my emotions are all geared for baby and moving and not working and settling in a new home. And for only the second time in my life I am having a very hard time focusing on the here and now. (The first time was the period of time between my engagement and my wedding). I have a hard time motivating myself to go to work because, even though I still love my job, my heart is yearning forward and I have to snap myself back to the waiting present to focus on the tasks at hand. It doesn't help that my house is randomly scattered with various signs that our lives here are temporary. The mirror propped against the wall that never got properly hung, the baby clothes and gifts randomly scattered throughout the house, and the conspicuous lack of a nursery or any sign of plans to settle with a baby in the house. 
The waiting is making the time crawl by............

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

6 more weeks

6 more weeks and I'm starting to get grumpier. I'm uncomfortable all the time and I'm tired and I have less tolerance for things that don't go my way. This pregnancy has been an almost entirely worry free experience. But now I'm noticing that as I get uncomfortable I am also starting to worry more. When I was sick I accepted this as a normal part of pregnancy... and then when I started to feel movement I also accepted this as normal. All the movements and all the little aches and pains I feel are all normal and I have had hardly a fleeting thought that there might be something wrong. But now the movements are hardly flutters and they are sometimes accompanied with alarming pains that take me by surprise! Ouch... is she supposed to kick my spine like that? I feel like there's a wedge in my back! Or a pinch in my bladder that feels quite unhealthy. And as my lower spine curves outward to accommodate the extra weight my upper spine curves inward causing my shoulders to hunch and ache. And my hips hurt when I lay on my side and my legs hurt when I lie on my back and my shoulders hurt when I'm sitting and my feet hurt when I'm standing... Not to mention all the stomach pains... it's either nausea or heartburn or both. I am always burping but it doesn't make me feel better. And I'm either hungry or stuffed and almost always thirsty but can't drink too much water or I'll get even sicker.
Ok that's it. I'm through complaining. When people ask me I have to tell them truthfully that my pregnancy has been fairly uneventful. I'm still right smack dab in the middle of the low-risk category for which I am profoundly grateful. And I try not to complain because of that... I just needed to vent here one time.......................................... ok now I'm done. No more complaining... I'm a lucky and happy pregnant girl. Thanks!

do not worry...

Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'what shall we eat?' or 'what shall we drink?' or 'what shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own.

I suppose I always thought of this verse as a comfort for all types of worry. Vague worry that I said the wrong thing in a social setting or worry that I didn't do well at work or at school. But I'm reading this verse with fresh eyes and seeing that it's really about money. It applies to the other types of worry as well, of course, but it's telling me not to stress about money. This is the hardest thing. As I read it, it strikes me how flippant Jesus is being about money. Like he's saying something so obvious and it seems funny that he has to put it into such words... like he's explaining it to 1st graders or people who are very dense. "If God takes care of the birds and the grass what makes you think he won't take care of you? He knows you need those things, he's not so distant that he forgets you have to eat and wear clothes. He knows that every month you pay rent and the phone bill and your heavy student loans... why do you waste your time worrying about something over which you have very little control, but God has ultimate control?" 
And it occurs to me that by worrying about money I am limiting the power of God. I am acknowledging my deepest fear that either God is not capable of working out this problem or that he doesn't care enough to help me with it. If you asked me outright whether I believed that God cared enough about me to provide for all my needs I would tell you without hesitation that I believe it to be true. If you asked me if I believed that God is capable of providing for all my needs I would also tell you that I believe that also to be true. So why is it hard to believe that he will and is taking care of these things that weigh me down? When the burden of student loans threatens to crush my spirit why do I not give them to God... why did I not give them to God in the first place?

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The most wonderful weekend!

I have had the greatest weekend. Jimmy wasn't working for once... and on Valentines day he took me out to a nice restaurant and then to the Symphony. We got to the restaurant around 5:15 and stayed there till 7:30... we ate delicious food and talked and talked. It was so great just to sit and talk with him! They were doing a special thing at the symphony... it was songs from Hollywood and Broadway. The music was excellent to say the least! The two vocalists were both very famous and they were both outstanding. The conductor was a funny Asian man who jumped around on his podium when he got excited during the music, which was quite often. The symphony orchestra itself was wonderful. I was thrilled the whole time! Our seats were absolutely horrible... we were up so high that Jimmy kept pretending to check me for nosebleeds but we could hear just fine from where we were and both of us loved it! One of my friends, Sarah, lent me some maternity dresses so I actually got a little dressed up and I felt sort of fancy for the first time in months! Of course, during the course of the evening I used the bathroom 8 times, but who cares! When you're pregnant everyone is nicer to you, and sometimes they even let you cut in the line for the bathroom!
Then this morning we woke up and decided to go see the ice sculpture festival. We went into St. Joe and had fun walking up and down the streets. It was the perfect day for it... just hovering around freezing so the sculptures didn't melt, but sunny and clear otherwise. And to top it all off, there were individual competitors doing their sculptures so we were able to walk around and watch them as they carved the ice. A quick Hot Apple Cider in the Chocolate Cafe and we were ready to head home. But we stopped at Wal Mart first and Jimmy bought me a $15 ring that I can wear while I'm pregnant since my real wedding ring is far too small for my swollen fingers right now. And he also got me a watch, which I've been wanting for about 8 months now. Then we went home and relaxed together and watched a movie together... Ahhhhhh...
These are the times that fill me right up. My love and happiness cup overflows and I'm so thankful to God for all the blessings in my life. Hurrah... what a wonderful weekend!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Baby registry

I have finally registered for baby things. I wasn't going to, but after many people telling me how helpful it would be I finally did it. So for those who were wondering, I'm registered at Babies R Us and Target. I would be delighted with all the things on my registry, but I would be just as delighted by the things people buy me that are not on my registry. The registry is only to help those who want some guidance.