I'm learning to be a better person by being a parent. There are many things that I should do because they are good things to do... things I sometimes don't do. But I'm starting to realize that if I want my child to do those things then I need to do them myself.
Is it wrong to use my daughter to be motivated to do things?
So before Emery was born Jimmy and I didn't always wear our seatbelts. Most of the time we did, but not every time. We don't always pray before meals. Sometimes I only brush my teeth once a day (gasp!). Sometimes I don't floss. Sometimes I'm lazy and don't do the dishes or put away the folded laundry. And most days I don't make my bed. Sometimes I eat foods that are bad for me. Sometimes I watch too much TV.
But I don't want Emery to get any of these habits! How can I teach her to live a better life then I'm living? I can't. So the only solution is to live a better life myself. How inconvenient!
But the one thing that is the most important... the thing that really cuts deep into my heart is my sometimes lack of devotional time with God. Sometimes I don't feel like doing it... and sometimes when I don't feel like spending time with God... I just don't. And I want to ALWAYS want to have my devotional time. And I want it to be important enough for my own soul's salvation to do it. But sometimes it's not. But now that I'm a parent there's absolutely no excuse for me to not be right with God. It's more important then it has ever been because it's not just my own soul that will be saved by it.
How can I teach my child to have regular and intimate devotions with God when I don't do it?
I can't. God help me.
2 comments:
I've been thinking about these things too - as Jonathan and I talk and plan more about having children, I realize the things in my life I want to be different - some things passed down from my own mother - cycles I want to break. It's sobering to ponder.
thanks for this post. I could have written this exactly, word for word. I'm trying to do better, but habits are hard to break. New habits are hard to establish. I've heard that in order for something to become a habit you have to do it everyday for 21 days. That is my plan for devotionals, and yet it still hasn't happened
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